Reintroducing Gluten: Week 8

This is torture. 

I am feeling so incredibly rubbish being back on the gluten that I just seem to have taken leave of myself. My body is one big bloated mess and my mind is all over the place. I can't believe food can cause so much trouble! Well, I can. 

Sorry for not updating. My wrists have been in agony again. I'm not sure of this is due to the disc slip in my neck or the reintroduction of gluten but it's making daily tasks impossible. 

I should get a letter from the hospital this week regarding the biopsy but I'm not holding my breath. Apparently, they are legally allowed to go up until the end of October with regards to conducting the biopsy. Joy. God bless Wales. 

I'll be back with a better update soon- hopefully something more chipper!

x

Week 6 Days 1-3

Week 6

Days 1-3

Week 6- hooray! This was meant to be the last week of eating gluten but, considering I haven't even had a single letter through regarding the endoscopy, I'm not holding out much hope. Given I've put myself through all of this, I'd rather give my body a chance to fully throw itself into a state of despair than stop any self inflicted damage mid flow, so I'll give them another couple of weeks before starting on the phone abuse. So far this week I've encountered some more symptoms that, like the sinus problems, I had no idea were related to eating gluten. Now, these are two issues I definitely do not suffer from: dry, cracked lips and mouth ulcers. In fact, it's safe to say, the only type I'm suffered from the cracked lips was when I was b12 deficient. The cracks are like nothing I've seen. I have fissures on each side which make smiling excruciating. Not that I have much to smile about in my bloated, gas filled state #pityme. My top and bottom lips look like they've been to the Sahara and forgotten their SPF, so peeled are they. When I was severely b12 deficient my lips were in a much similar state. In fact, they only cleared up about 3 months after constant daily injections which coincided with eliminating gluten from my diet so it does beg the chicken/egg question. Hmmm...

I've also developed mouth ulcers which have been quite painful which may/ may not have anything to do in the slightest with the fact that I can't stop dragging them along my teeth. Oh, the fun I have. Look out for the book: 101 ways to entertain yourself. I looked them up and it looks like they're another sneaky manifestation of your body fighting against it's gluten intoxication. It's been a real eye opener. No one can accuse me of aping these symptoms as I genuinely had no idea they were in anyway connected to gluten. Given I don't ever suffer from any of the problems of the past 2 weeks, the sinus problem still very much being present, I'm beginning to think the gluten problem may just be more than a mere intolerance. 

Cracked lips- it's a good look. 

Week 5 Days 1-7

Week 5

Days 1-7

Gosh, gluten is the gift that really keeps on giving, isn't it!? This week my sinus' have gone crazy. I wasn't even aware this was a possible gluten problem and, since having my tonsils removed at 12, I've never really had a problem with anything ENT related since. This week my ears feel like they're ringing and like they've been stuffed with cotton wool. I've had a huge, huge amount of pressure on the back of my head towards the nape of my neck and up into my nose. Initially I was very fearful thinking this was related to the disc problem, given how badly it has flared up (see post below). A little chat and research shows the sinus problems are very much linked with coeliac disease, something I did not know. It hasn't eased up and feels increasingly worse as the evening progresses. Sinus troubles, coupled with mounting fatigue, means I'm getting very irritable come 7pm. Poor husband. It's hard to explain to people that you just don't want to talk. Not just not to them, but not at all. My stomach is like a balloon pretty much all the time now and the wind is taking over my life. Oh, I bet he can't believe his luck in marrying this veritable feast of a being.  

Week 4 Days 1-7

Week 4 

Days 1-7

This week has been a bit of a nightmare. I'm writing this at the end of the week as typing has been a bit of an impossibility of late. I can't type on a computer, anyway, and can only use a touch screen. This is because, along with the disc slip in my lumbar spine, I have a disc problem in my cervical spine- aka the neck. This means I can't use a computer, lift heavy objects, raise my arms above my head for lengths of time- so no blow drying my hair or doing the YMCA for me. I've had a steroid injection in my lumbar spine which gave me relief for a few weeks but, unfortunately, the positive effect of it appears to have worn off. The ideal course is a set of 3 spaced over a few weeks but the mismanagement of the whole situation by the hospital means that hasn't, and doesn't look like it's going to happen. The whole thing has been a shoddy mess from start to finish. Well, can I even say finish when the end- more injections in the lumbar and the first ones in the neck- is nowhere near in sight? Anyway, these problems have flared up this week and the pain is even more acute than usual. I have read and been told that gluten can perpetuate joint problems and it certainly has with me. I'd say that joint pain was the big winner this week in terms of glutenalicious symptoms. That and fatigue. Oh god. It's still only at about 20% of what I felt when I was severely b12 deficient but it's there and it's horrible and I never want to go back to that feeling of my whole body sinking through the floor ever again. All in all, a pretty low week for me :-(  

Fun times. 

Top Tips for Breaking the Emotional Eating Cycle.

For those of you who read last weeks post on emotional eating, you will know that I am currently in the midst of trying to reclaim my diet and body. Having to eat gluten again for the biopsy and being unable to work out due to health reasons has seen me fall back into some unfortunate dietary habits. I started afresh on Monday after a hugely monstrous weekend of basically stuffing myself with everything I could get my hands on. I let myself have that weekend because I knew that midnight on Sunday would signal a new, fresh start for me. Still eating gluten, I'm not expecting to see the scales drop or the notches on my belt decrease because, as you can see from a few posts down, eating the stuff leaves me incredibly bloated. What I'm doing at the moment is, what I would call, 'damage limitation'. I'm basically trying to reclaim my approach to my diet before it claims me. When I say diet, I mean it in the nutritional sense: not the cabbage water, crust of bread style. Healthy, balanced meals coupled with as much gentle walking exercise as I can currently manage is very much the dish of the day. 

I think one of the biggest stumbling blocks for anyone when they decide to eat better is the sense of deprivation. It's the pink elephant syndrome: as soon as you decide not to eat chocolate/ crisps/ pies etc, your every waking thought becomes consumed with, well, consuming them. I have found a few ways of making sure this doesn't happen to me and have outlined them in some handy hints and tips below. If anyone has any others to add, feel free to leave me a comment below :-) 

Don't buy it. 

Yes, that simple. If your 'trigger' foods are not in the home then you can't eat them. It sounds obvious but so many times I've justified buying my food nemesis' 'just in case' someone drops round. Edit: I live in the middle of nowhere. I then find myself eating the entire pack of biscuits, guilt ridden and upset. If someone does pop over, there's no shame in offering them a drink and a healthy snack. I don't know where we've got it into our cultural psyche that we need to offer people copious amounts of sugary snacks the second the doorbell goes. Have some fruit, dried or fresh, to hand and offer it up to them, you never know, they might be just as grateful as you to bypass the biscuit ritual. 

Treat yourself

'Naughty' foods are, more often than not, blessed with the title 'treats'. We 'treat' ourselves after a long week/ day/ hour with a glass of wine, a sharing size bag of chocolates, or a takeaway. Never once, in the history of humankind, do you hear anyone say, 'I'm so pleased with how that work meeting went, I'm going to treat myself with a nice bunch of kale'. I'm not kidding myself: no one is going to start seeing a salad as a reward for a weeks work well done. What you can do is learn to give yourself none food based 'treats'. Little things to look forward to. Because, really, the basis of a 'treat' is the chance to reward yourself with something enjoyable and pleasurable. It isn't a 'treat' if you wolf down a family sized packet of biscuits and sit wallowing in guilt for the next few hours. Here are a few ideas of inexpensive ways to indulge yourself:

- A Pampering Bath: give yourself the spa experience at home. Post coming up!

- A mini facial: massage away any tension with a home facial. 

- Computer game: even better a multiplayer one you can enjoy with friends. 

-A walk in your local area: engage with your local surroundings and yourself. Take notice of the things around you. Stop and say hello to passers by and relish the great outdoors. 

-A new book: even better, one from your local charity shop or library. Or listen to Radio 4 and their book of the week. 

-Check out your local community groups or centres for any free activities. Not only will it be a chance to engage in a new activity, you could meet new, like minded people. 

Learn to connect with yourself again. 

In an age of connectivity we have lost connection with ourselves. We are always switched on. Phones, tablets, computers, music, TV: the list goes on. It seems we are increasingly switched on digitally. All these connections with the virtual means we have lost our connection with the actual: ourselves! We need to learn to switch off in order to switch on to ourselves. It may sound incredibly hippy like but when was the last time you truly had a quiet moment with yourself. Letting the mind wander allows you to think through the days events, sort through any problems or obstacles you may be facing and put things into perspective. I personally find going out for a walk allows me to connect with myself the fullest. Leaving the confines of the home and getting out and into nature can really help realign your mind and body. Walking helps you connect your body and your mind in a gentle, none impacting way. You can also reconnect with yourself via breathing exercises and meditation. These can be done anywhere, on the bus, in the office, or at home. I enjoy taking a good minute just to tune into my breathing. Breathing in through your nose, exhale the air back through gently pursed lips. This filters the air and maximises each breath, clearing your mind and lungs. This is also a great exercise if you're prone to panic attacks or find yourself in a stressful situation as it helps to regulate breathing. Another breathing exercise is to lay flat on your back with your feet flat on the floor and your knees pointing towards the ceiling. Bring your lower abdominal stomach muscles in as if you are zipping up a pair of jeans. Breath in for 5 and out for 5. Release your body then repeat at least 10 times. This is a great way of neutralising the spine, engaging your core and, by concentrating on your body and your breathing, you can quieten all external stimulus and just concentrate on you. 

Reconnect with your food. 

Practising mindfulness when eating really helps strengthen your relationship with food. So often we just grab something and eat it on the go. Dinner is stuffed in the microwave and our mouths within minutes. Preparing meals from scratch is a great way to really connect with what you are eating. However, I do understand time is often a luxury many of us can't afford. If you can't prepare food from scratch, make sure you are engaged in the meals you do eat. It might sound obvious, but how many times have you stuffed a sandwich on a lunch break or troffed a TV dinner without pausing for breath. Before you know it, the food has left the plate and mysteriously bypassed your stomach. Within minutes you're hungry again. It is well known that it takes about 20 minutes for your brain to tell your stomach it is full. Scoffing a sandwich in record timing means you bypass this essential step meaning you're more likely to reach for the snacks later. Eating is a multi sensual pleasure. Take time to savour each bite. Chew your food and think about the texture, the taste, the smell. Try to identify each flavour within it. Do not allow yourself distractions. I try to eat my lunch and breakfast without the interruption of electrical devices, the internet or the TV. All this may sound odd, but think about how children really connect with their food and how much pleasure they get from sucking, chewing, handling and examining their food. Taking time to eat means you're more likely to really appreciate the flavours and textures and, hopefully, you'll take this on into preparing your own meals. 

Find flavour

Linking in with mindful eating is flavour. So many of the foods we binge on are terribly sweet or artificially flavoured: crisps, biscuits, chocolate, match snacks. How many times can you honestly say you've relished the actual flavours of those hurried binges? The mistake people make is to go on an extreme diet, stocking their cupboards full of cardboard  flavoured crisp breads and dusty rice cakes. Flavour is so important. Making healthy meals flavoursome means you'll be less likely to reach for those fast snacks. Bring flavour to your food. Spices and seasonings will become your best buddy. If you have a sweet tooth, bring some sweetness to your main. Combine spicy and sweet foods. A chilli, mango and Mint dip with some spiced sweet potato wedges is a favourite of mine. With so many flavours circulating your mouth, it'll be a case of Bye-vita, rather than Riveta. 

Fall with grace

I'm going to tell it to you straight. You will fall. Whether you're out and about or at home, everybody has those overwhelming moments where that 'do it' voice cannot be silenced and they reach for the naughty food. This is probably THE most important point. It may be tempting, after giving into temptation, to throw all your hard work and positive mental attitude out of the window. In my experience, if these binges happen mid week, I tend to just give in and think, 'I'll start again on Monday'. Of course, on reflection, that is a ridiculous attitude. One small instance should not throw the entire week into disarray. A very good phrase I heard was this: 'Just because you burst one tyre doesn't mean you slash all the rest'. Don't let one day ruin everything you've worked hard for. Don't beat yourself up. Draw a line and move on. Your tomorrow self will thank you for it. 

IMPORTANT INFORMATION ON TREATING B12 DEFICIENCY IN THE UK

IMPORTANT: Anyone in the UK with PA or a b12 deficient: either diagnosed or SUSPECTED, there are new guidelines out for treatment. These guidelines state that if you have the symptoms you MUST be treated with injections, EVEN in the ABSENCE of low serum blood results. This is because the serum b12 blood test is FLAWED and many, many factors can give you a false high reading. This means people with a b12 deficiency are going Undiagnosed and, most importantly, untreated.  If you have neurological symptoms then your GP MUST treat you. This has been circulated to all docs and is OFFICIAL new guidelines for the UK. They are not perfect, but they are better than what we have. Your doctor needs to look in their copy of the BNF 9.1.2 as this will tell them how to treat. The KEY factor is that you just have injections every other day until YOU feel no further improvement in your neurological symptoms. Keep a diary as it is easy to forget things but don't just allow them to stop regular treatment at their decision. It is your RIGHT to receive regular treatment. This is far from perfect but it is a start. It is a big document so scroll down to p29 for the flow diagram that will be of use to you and that you can print to show the docs xx 

http://www.bcshguidelines.com/documents/BCSH_Cobalamin_and_Folate_Guidelines_(2).docx.pdf

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 4 Day 1

Week 4- Day 1

 My skin is being disgusting. Only the other week I was waxing lyrical about how gloriously glowing my skin was. What a different story this week. My skin is duller than a British summer time. Duller than dishwater. Duller than any other cliche you can think of. What's more, it's spotty :-( On my face, under skin lumps across the temples have spouted up along with one or two on my forehead and nose. Across the top of my back a few under skin lumps are coming up to the touch (but as yet, thankfully, have not become visible). It feels like my skin is trying to purge itself of all the 'toxins' inside my body. When I cut dairy out of my diet (due to problems digesting it and horrible reactions to it) a few years back, a happy, happy side effect was that my skin cleared up completely. I've battled with bad skin my entire life (quite literally, I was 8 when I started having acne) and I could not believe just how clear it turned. I may now get a spot every 6 months. if that. I think I'll do a separate post on my skin at some stage as I'm pretty convinced that it is linked to my plethora of illnesses. I just hope to goodness this doesn't flare up like it used to. This better be worth it. 

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 3 Day 7

Week 3 Day 7

As you can garner from yesterday's post, the tummy bloating is back with vengeance. Last night was my first real full on monstrous reaction since reintroducing it. After a while, you do sort of forget just how intense a reaction can be. I knew at the time what foods triggered the worst response and I recalled upon this yesterday afternoon as I opened up the packet and pulled out a piece of Hovis Granary bread. I knew this as the knife seductively slipped back and forth over the bread's hot body, leaving a delicious trail of buttery lubricant all over its surface. I knew this as I lifted the slice up to my lips. I knew it with every bite, every crunch, every swallow. And I most certainly knew this as I lay in absolute agony that night, clutching at my tympanic stomach, swollen to bursting point, the skin stretched across it tighter than Joan Rivers' latest facelift. As you can see from the pictures in the post below, I had well and truly been 'glutened'. Gas was escaping my body from both ends and there was absolutely nothing I could do to put a cork in it. This morning brought the usual blessed wake up call of crashing sea waves and explosive bowel movements. I'm no longer sure as to who is waking who up: I'm petty sure the skylarks are setting their alarms to my morning bowel escapades. Ugh. Today, I feel as if my body is in a state of hangover. My stomach is still swollen but has, thankfully, lost a little of the tension. I am *tired* in a way I haven't been since properly getting my vitamin levels up and my joints are aaaaaaching. My tummy keeps giving me little dagger stabbing pains just to remind me of its dissatisfaction over last nights gluten filled behaviour. You think you leave home to avoid being reprimanded. I never once thought my body would become my watch keeper. And what's worse? The icing on the delicious but body crippling cake? I have to keep on eating the bloody stuff today. 2 meals a day, as advised. I'm going to save the horrific Hovis for the days running up to the biopsy as hopefully it will illicit the same reaction as it usually does. But, for now, today will be spent eating cereal and pitta breads and digging out my baggiest of kaftans. Just my luck that the UK is set to be hit by an early heatwave right in the midsts of my suffering. If anyone requires a beach ball, you know where to find me...

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 3 Day 6

B is for bloating.  

Here we are, the end of week 3. Now is the point at which my body is screaming at me, 'I have had enough!!!' . All the bloating pales away into what's been happening the tail end of this week. My tops are actually rolling back up and over my stomach. I've taken to walking round everywhere hugging a cushion. I just can't stand anyone seeing it. 

Here are the before and afters. I think you get my drift. 

The happy, happy, baby 4 pack defined BEFORE 

And AFTER. Yuck. 

Food: The Unavoidable Emotional Crutch

I've been umming and ahing about whether to write this post. I'm not anorexic. I'm not bulimic. I don't have any labable 'eating disorder'. I'm not a huge junk food eater. Nor do I buy ready meals, instant meals or order takeaways anymore than 3-4 times a year, maximum. I do, in fact, have a very secure knowledge of food and nutrition. But still, my relationship with food is beyond desirable. 

I am a comfort eater. If I am feeling down, trapped, emotionally switched off, I will reach for food. I eat because I am bored. I eat because I am ill. I eat because it's there. I eat in secret. I stash away food in my wardrobe and wolf it down when no one is around. Then I hide the wrappers. The more I eat like this, the sadder I become | The sadder I become, the more I eat like this. It is like a vicious cycle, a mirror image, an unbreakable bond I've forged with a substance I cannot walk away from. 

It's not even food you would consider 'bad'. At the moment, because of having to reintroduce gluten and wheat for the coeliac test, I have so many food groups reopened up to me. Still, though, I'm not buying packets of crisps or biscuits. Things like bread are luring me in. One slice, two slice, three, four...I chain eat them, one after the other, barely stopping for air between each buttered offering. I'm piling my cereal bowl up to mountainous proportions and digging my way through mundane foods such as wheetabix. I deny myself the big 'treats' but chow my way through hideous amounts of 'normal' food. 

I'm far from kidding myself as to what I eat. I track my calories using an online app. I started doing this for protein measurements when I became vegan and was very athletic. It started as a way to make sure my body was getting enough of the good stuff. Now it's a way of shaming myself. Every week starts the same. I input the meals I'm going to have and make sure I stick within my calorie allocation. On paper, I'm doing everything right. I plan ahead, I monitor what I eat. I'm not 'clueless' when it comes to nutrition. I can't play the ignorant card. I make sure the food I buy is nutritious and useful. I look upon my weekly calorie allowance with pride. Then something happens. Something inside just, snaps. I'm baking and eating cookies all to myself. Loaves of bread disappear. Handfuls, fistfuls of nuts thrown down my throat. Bars of bitter dark chocolate broken up and wolfed. 

The aftermath. The guilt. After I've eaten it all I'll just sit there, stunned by my own stupidity. I feel my mood plummet. Standing in front of the mirror I grab handfuls of fat, pulling them off my body. Look at you. Disgusting. So close to being the weight/ shape you want then you go and do that? I try to breath it in but my bloated stomach won't budge. You'll be sorry in the morning. 

I don't wallow for long. I shrug it off. It all starts afresh tomorrow. Maybe I can still be within my weekly allowance. I delete foods off my list. One Weetabix for breakfast instead of two. Maybe just veg for lunch. No rice with my chilli for dinner. Maybe just cut out a couple of meals entirely. The next day comes and so does the apathy. Well, what's the point. The week is ruined. Start again from Monday. The meals go back on and so do the calories. All of a sudden my carefully planned week has disappeared. The next week comes and I think you can guess the pattern. 

This is definitely a state of being I can break. When I was working out and physically active, I left these days behind me. I woke up in the morning excited for my workout. Hill sprints, weight lifting, bike riding, brisk walks, I couldn't get enough. People would stop me and tell me how fit I was. I grew with pride. I'd see my body transforming in front of me and I was happy. So, so happy. Then I became ill: slipped discs, pernicious anaemia. Not getting a proper diagnosis left me hospitalised. I was so ill. I couldn't walk stairs without collapsing into a breathless heap. I had to give up work. Medication and being unable to leave my bed meant I piled the weight on. I went up 10kg over the summer. Clothes no longer fit. I felt the rolls creeping back on. I couldn't even bare to stand in front of the mirror, in my underwear or in front of my new husband. Unable to work out, not getting anywhere with medical treatment/ understanding, I turned back to food. When I started to get better, I broke the cycle again. I was nowhere near well enough to go back to my old regime but slowly I built up to daily walks which brought the weight back down and food no longer became an emotional crutch. But now, again faced with health issues, I'm standing on the precipice looking down on myself, seeing the same habits creeping in. 

I'm not a 'big' girl. I'm 5ft 10 and usually a steady 73kg. At my lightest I was 67kg and my heaviest 79kg. When I was working out, scales meant nothing to me. My heavy muscle mass was a thing of pride. Now I feel my once firm arms wobble and I know the numbers staring up at me are because of fat, not fitness. As a child I had puppy fat but was never overweight. Always taller, bigger, stronger than my female peers. I had curves before everyone else. Men would notice me but boys would poke fun. I am not for one second deluded enough to think I am grossly overweight, but I am unhappy. And I can see, I can recognise that, for me, for me right now, food is becoming something I am leaning on. It's a source of comfort and self hatred all wrapped into one, essential little bundle. 

Things have to change. I'm waiting on the injections in my neck and more into my lower back. I'm hoping they resolve the pain/ mobility issues and allow me to get back into work. I have a place to study mental health nursing in September and I'm pushing so hard for everything to be up and running and back to normality by then. One and a half years of not being able to work, not being able to go out, not being able to exercise. No money, no social life, no human interaction past the family and very close friends confines. It takes it's toll on you mentally and physically. It's one thing  choosing not to be active,  it's an entirely different matter having that option taken away from you. Days spent in jogging bottoms, hours slipping away into nothingness. Nothing to dress up for, nowhere to go. The way everything has been handled by doctors is beyond disgusting. They would never allow an animal to be housebound and treated this way. Slipping through nets, not having anyone fight for you and being told your very physical/ cellular illness may just be in your head really takes it out of a person. Even those who appear strong. 

As for food? I only have a few weeks of having to eat gluten/ wheat left. Once that's done, I'm not touching the stuff again. For the very immediate present, I'm starting again. I'm drawing the line. I'm going to practise some mindfulness exercises so that if I feel myself slipping towards old habits, I can take a few moments out and reconnect with myself. Poor food choices will be replaced with positive self affirmations. I can no longer rely on the help of others. I'm locked in a constant battle with the bureaucracy of the NHS. But this is my battle. My body. And it's up to me to treat it with the respect that others are failing to show to it.

This is my catharsis, my rebirth, my resolution. 

From Today, I'm reclaiming my body and my mind. 

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 3 Days 3-5

Week 3

Day 3-5

I am so tired. Since taking my b12 injections and balancing my folate and iron levels, I finally was heading towards feeling normal again. I felt I'd shrugged off that groggy fatigue and, apart from the issues pertinent to my slipped disc, I felt completely back on track. However, the tail end of last week and into this week, I have noticed a big drop in my energy levels. It's hitting 5 o'clock and I'm struggling to keep my eyes open. Come 7, and I'm asleep in my hands. This isn't normal. I remember last summer being quite surprised at how sleepy I was getting after eating a gluten heavy meal. To be completely honest, I thought maybe I'd jumped the gun a bit with the whole gluten free eating. Was I just making life hard for myself for no reason? 3 weeks in and I can definitively say it's very much having a negative effect on me. Still not convinced it'll come back as coeliac. 

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 3 Day 1-2

Week 3

Day 1-2

Sleeping on my back makes me fart. This was something I discovered when I had a slipped disc in my lower back and several in my neck. I have always been a foetal sleeper. Ah, the curled up comfort of the womb position. However, the disc slips meant that attempting to sleep on my side lead to absolute numbness in my arms and the feeling that my legs were about to drop off/ I was going to wet myself. Not a pleasant experience. Having never slept on my back before I was NOT expecting the unfortunate side effect of passing wind uncontrollably. The type that WAKES YOU UP from your sleep. Uh huh. Hot stuff, right? Again, out came the trusty cough and I'd try to disguise said bed bottom burps from my husband with a coughing fit. Have you ever tried to make your coughs sound like farts? Try it sometime. 

Anyway, the crux of the matter is that my neck and back are still not fixed but, cutting out gluten meant that the uncontrollable night time windy pops vanished. Hoorah! At the time I had no idea they were linked. Now, with the reintroduction of gluten the night time percussion has started once more. Totes devo. 

A friend recommended these delightful little beauties. What do you think? Should they be standard NHS issue for coeliacs? I've heard of raising the heat in the bedroom department but maybe this is taking it a little too far...

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 2- Days 3-7

Week 2

Days 3-7

So, here we are. The end of week two. Apart from my ever increasing weight, I don't think there's much more to report. Apart from the fact that I can't stop eating. 

I can't stop. I. CAN'T. STOP. 

I think it's because with the reintroduction of wheat/ gluten, I'm eating so many refined carbs which, in turn, are just turning into sugar and, subsequently, are making me crave MORE refined carbs. What a vicious cycle. The great thing about not eating gluten and wheat is that I don't ever buy things containing them. Sounds logical, right? Right. As you *may* have fathomed if you read my other blog, trouble free treats, restrain isn't a word that features highly in my vocabulary. If I have a bar of chocolate/ packet of biscuits/ box of cereal in the house I just can't stick to a serving. I will eat the lot. This is why I never buy them. If they're not there, I can't eat them. Now that I *have* to eat gluten and wheat I have to keep food stuffs such as breads, cereal and biscuits in. So, half a loaf of bread later and the level of crippling stomach pain is only matched by my seething self hatred. Ah, dear. From Monday this must stop, because not only am I going to be left with bloated gassy weight to shift, I'm going to have real life chub to contend with. Last summer I was at my absolute heaviest weight wise and my absolute lowest self esteem wise. I'm not heading that way again. Even if the biopsy is negative for coeliac, I know there are real and measurable reactions happening with the inclusion of wheat and gluten in my diet so I won't be continuing to eat them. Even if it has made the weekly shop a heck of a lot easier/ cheaper. 

Reintroducing Gluten: Week 2 day 3

I cannot stop passing wind. I'm literally like a walking drummer. Everywhere I go, I'm announcing my entry with a rolling procession of farts. Living. The. Dream. 

Reintroducing Gluten. Week 2: Day 1-2.

Well, here we are. Week two of eating gluten and wheat. Only 1 week (to the hour) of eating them again and I have put on 4 kg. Actually, I skimmed over that waaaay too blasé. Ladies and gentlemen, in one week, I have put on a whopping  FOUR KILOGRAMS. That's 8.8 pounds. That's over HALF A STONE. Now, I know a ladies weight can fluctuate over a month, but even the dreaded monthly cycle never leaves me a full 4kg over my usual weight. I can feel it, also. My stomach and all round the top of my hips and right round the back of me/ top of my bum is swollen out. Under my chin is also puffed out and every morning I am waking up with really puffy eyes. I just feel seriously puffed out. 

I hope this is water retention. I've tried very hard since being my heaviest last summer (due to a heady mix of post hospital drugs and not being able to move due to the b12 deficiency) to lose the weight. It hasn't been easy with 2 slipped discs in my neck and lower back. I went from being a very, very sporty and physically active person to not being able to get out of bed. Slowly, I've built myself up to a very brisk walk at least 5 times a week. Apart from this, I'm still pretty much housebound (due to the ineptitude of various medics and still having had no treatment for my neck) which isn't helping. I'm definitely the kind of person who has to work at being fit/ slim and, for me, diet AND exercise are equally important in maintaining my weight. This is one side effect of reintroducing gluten that I just didn't see coming. It may sound ridiculous to some, but it has actually impacted on my mood this week. Clothes just aren't fastening or sitting right. I know it's only a 6 weeks (5 more) that I have to do this for but I'm seriously hoping the weight gain has reached it's peak and stops from now on. Whatever the result of the biopsy, I can categorically say I will not be eating gluten/ wheat again. 

Reintroducing Gluten: Week One.

Week One.

Why is it that everything that is good for you in the long run, is the worst thing in the short term? Think, exercise and those early days of forcing yourself up and out of your warm bed, into your unflattering gym gear and off to the gym/ park/ your living room for an hour or so of throwing yourself around the place, gurning, and producing more sweat than Lee Evans. But, still, we do it, safe in the knowledge that, in the long term, our bodies, health, minds and holiday snaps will thank us for it.

This is the current situation regarding gluten/ wheat and me. After months of negative blood tests they've finally decided to do a biopsy. Of course, one of the provisos of said biopsy is that I need to be eating the allergen in order for the tests to work. Now, the advice given to me from the Consultant was to make sure I eat gluten/wheat for 4 days before the date of the biopsy. However, being active on coeliac forums and having looked on the Coeliac UK site, it seems that most people have the best success rate of diagnosis when they have been eating gluten/wheat for 6 full weeks, with 2 meals a day pre- biopsy. Here's the advice from CoeliacUK

So, it's with a heavy heart and, what's going to be an even heavier stomach, that I've embarked on my 6 weeek journey. It's important to note that I have a number of food related problems. I cannot eat anything containing animal protein. So, no eggs, milk, cheese, meat: you get the picture. The problem with animal protein started long before the problem with gluten. I also have pernicious anaemia (a b12 deficiency). I'm not entirely convinced my problems stem from coeliac disease BUT I always willing to be proven wrong. Since gluten causes an adverse reaction for me, I'm kind of holding out in hope that it is coeliac disease because, otherwise, they've pretty much told me they have no idea where to start looking next. Coeliac disease can cause damage to the ilium which could have lead to the animal protein problems along with the b12 deficiency. I'm hoping the biopsy will give me the answers I desperately need. In the meantime, here's my account of reintroducing gluten into my diet.

Week One
I'm now at the end of of first week of eating wheat and gluten. I expected it to be full on hell from the start but, in all honesty, the first few days were not so bad at all. I didn't notice any discernible symptoms. By day 3 I was eating my words. Or rather, I wish I was, because they'd be causing me a lot less trouble than the food I was actually eating. The first thing that struck me was the gas. Oh, dear Lord, the gas. Honestly, and forgive me if we are entering into too much info territory here, but, since going GF 10 months ago, my gas/ wind/ farts/ toots/ windy pops have been totally normal. No terrible smell, nothing. By day 3 that familiar 'rolling and rumbling' feeling and none stop need to pass wind was back. And there was no way in hell you can let these bad boys slip unnoticed. There are only so many smells you can blame on the cat. That horrid almost rotting rubbish like smell is back. Eugh. I'm so glad I can share this with you all over the internet because my daily toilet habits aren't something I regularly share with loved ones. It's the kind of thing I'd rather keep bottled up. Although, there's no chance of that at the moment.  Around the same time as the rotting gas came the bouts of diarrhea. Ah, my old friend, how I've missed you. Now, having had a plethora of reactions to food over the past few years, I've learnt to differentiate between the different types of bowl habits. I know, it's a gift. With egg (my absolute nemesis and causer of anaphylactic reactions) it is like molten lava pouring from me. With gluten/ wheat it is just explosive. The decorate-the-toilet-basin kind of modern art look. As I'm eating gluten with 2 meals, that's pretty much the majority of the day where gluten is being put in my mouth (I eat 3 meals a day and no snacks). This means that I'm pretty much pooping at any time of the day and at least 2 of them are diarrhea. I have found this week that eating gluten with my evening meal means I WILL wake up in the early hours with a very urgent need for the toilet. Trying to hide it from the husband means there has been a lot of bathroom coughing and tap running going on at 3am. Either he knows full well what's going on and is too polite to say, or he thinks I've taken up a 100 a day smoking habit. Ah, man. When your husband calls you 'baby' I don't think he means it in the literal sense: his very own 27 year old farting and pooping machine. Who said romance is dead.

I've also had constant stomach cramps and a feeling of my throat being pushed down on around 30 minutes after eating gluten. That is really uncomfortable.

Like I said, I've mixed up which meals I have gluten with but from week 3, I think I'll stick with breakfast and lunch and give myself a rest in the evening as I'm definitely not loving the early hour toilet runs. Unfortunately, I'd already bought things for this coming weeks dinner so I'll have to put up with it.

 I'm taking peppermint tea constantly throughout the day. I can't say if it's helping, but  I'm going to keep on going as recommended as I'm absolutely not willing to test the theory that not drinking it will make symptoms worse.

So, that's it for this week. Stay tuned for next weeks instalment. In all honesty, though, I hope this helps any of you about to do it :-)

Meals this week: 
Breakfast: malted shreddies (Lidl's Shreddies)
lunch: baked beans on white bread
Dinner: Spaghetti (for days when I've had a none gluten lunch or dinner)